to you
to the 1st guy that hurt me the most
being together with you for 3 years
was certainly once the happiest times
of my secondary school life
you made me look forward to everyday
looking forward to waking up every morning
looking forward to going to school
stopping by your house busstop
walking to school together with you
going to the assembly area together
spending time together with you
eating together with you
doing every little thing together with you
looking forward to going to band daily
playing great music together
staying in that old band room together
trying out one another instruments
playing for performances and concerts together
helping out one another with duties
studying together for tests and exams
hanging out at tj mac often after school
and manymany other little things and activities
that we used to do together
the most memorable performance that we performed for
when we were still together,
the IBC at gentings highlands 2005.
the first, last, one and only overseas trip and performance
the 5D4N trip that we went for together.
our last little adventure together as a couple
our last fun memory together
the one where we had so much fun
hanging out at the theme park
trying out every rides together
screaming out loud, being crazy
having so much fun, eating so many stuffs
enjoying the cold breezy weather there
exploring genting everywhere
being together almost every moment
to be honest, all these little factors made the trip
my most enjoyable and memorable trip ever
in my whole secondary school and band life.
...
sad to say, though the trip brought us much closer
it also brought us further apart in a certain way
as we get to bond more with other members
getting to know more about others
knowing more new friends
understanding one another' characters better
i guess, it was only a matter of time,
before everything starts falling apart.
i should have known back then,
i was really too naive and trusting last time.
i should have known that something went wrong
when suddenly as a couple, we started drifting apart
getting really further and further apart
until we suddenly have lesser topics to talk about
until we rarely meet up in school and hang outside together
...
from strangers
to friends
to best friends
to being together as a couple
and then back to being
hi - bye friends and
strangers all over again
...
i should have known better back then
when you started hanging out with her
her, my best friend for the first 3 years
of my secondary school life
ever since we got back from genting,
as days passed by,
we got further and further apart
while you and her started getting closer
i brushed manymany thoughts away
thinking that its normal for you both to be so close
cuz all of us have so much things and interests in common
i believed and put 101% trust in you
i let you have more freedom
as we still get to see one another often in school
i let you hang out with her
as she doesnt have much friends
i trusted both of you so much
to the extent that i believed
that both of you wouldnt do anything
to hurt me in any way
simply because the two of you,
one is my best friend, one is my boyfriend
both of you are equally important to me.
but soon after, never did i imagine,
that what i fear the most came true
shocked, numb, hurt, upset, disappointed,
sad, heartbroken and many more feelings
than what i could ever handle
came rushing up to me
when you break the news to me
unexpected. really unexpected.
i was really an emotional wreck that year.
13th January 2006
i remembered that day very clearly.
as though it just happened yesterday.
the day where the 3 of us
came face to face to have a talk
the day when we broke up
the day when you both get together
the day where so many secrets came spilling out
a day that i wish nothing had happen at all.
you left. she left. both of you left.
a day where the two most important persons
left me at the same time
to pursue their happiness together.
that decision that you both made
haunts me for a longlong while
i never really did understand
what was the reason behind it.
all i remember was that
i felt so hurt and upset by it.
twice the hurt, upset and disappointment.
as days went by that year
i still hang on to this burden.
i was just an empty shell
feeling nothing but hurt, hurt, hurt and more hurt.
it took me a total of 3 long years to let go of you.
the number 113 will no longer be important to me.
it just stands for one hundred and thirteen
just a normal number to me now.
so glad that everything finally ended
on 9th January 2010.
the day i officially let go of you.
Thank you for making year 2003 to year 2005
a lovely and eventful 3 years for me
during my secondary life.
Hope everything is going well for you now still.
those memorable 3 years that we spent together
is now being buried deepdeep away
in the deepest corners of my heart
i wont ever visit those memory fragments ever again.
never again. :)
